Music videos past and present
I love music videos - watching them, writing about them and making my own on extremely limited budgets. Great videos are part of the reason I like pop music.
I know this blog has a rubbish name but to be honest you're all lucky I didn't call this something like 'Video Filled The Internet Fnar'.
Unfortunately some record companies don't like other people embedding their videos in order to give them more publicity, so I apologise on their behalf if any of the videos I post are no longer available.
Feel free to go to Youtube.com and complain about this daft precedent (or just search for the video there instead).
You can follow my posts on livejournal here: vidsarealright
Or get the straight RSS instead.
Mika has stolen his mum’s Blockbuster card and rented out The Blair Witch Project II: Geometric Boogaloo, only to end up being chased through the leaf mulch by creepy woodland folk. It’s a 15 rating at best - the only ‘shock value’ to be found here is the fact that at no point does it actually start raining. Obviously no-one has told Mika about the age-old telly trick of having a dude stand just out of shot with a high-pressure hosepipe, to ensure the rain shows up on film.
Who needs Trinny and Susannah when Dionne has a whole five series of Blossom to get her sartorial ideas from? Exhibit A: the hat, braces and denim shorts combo at 0.50. Exhibit B: the 20s flapper outfit at 1.14. Exhibit C: large tartan head bow at 1.38. Any of these seem familiar?
It’s quite liberating to know that now the 90s are back, it’s possible to wear literally ANYTHING and get away with it. I might have to dig out that knock-off Inspiral Carpets t-shirt that’s been lurking in the bag marked ‘chazza shop’ for the last decade and wear it down my local nightspot. Just as soon as I’ve watched another three hours of this.
RIP Stephen. Here’s one of Boyzone’s more baffling videos, where the attention focuses on a religiously symbolic hot air balloon (Ascension Sunday), a small child holding up an apple (temptation of Adam) and a Chinese woman standing in front of a screen with inkspots projected upon it (that would be an ecumenical matter).
Best of 2002: Well ‘best’ is probably pushing it, but I challenge you to get through this video without making a noise along the lines of ‘pffffffffnyaaaaaaahaaaa’.
During a photoshoot, a model finds a couple of magic ice cubes (???) and suddenly realises the inherent SHALLOWNESS and FAKENESS of the fashion world where she is beholden to THE MAN. Naturally she immediately legs it over to the Clarks Magic Steps forest to get in touch with her inner 10-year-old. Verrrry slowwwwly and seriously.
I’ve watched this four times now and I still can’t keep a straight face at 3.11, when things elevate to a whole new level.
I wasn’t expecting miracles from the new ‘Babes lineup but this is just…bad.
Three stunt girls who I assume are meant to look like a bit like the Sugababes arrive at a desert shack to perform a baffling suitcase deal with some gangsters, while the Actual Sugababes jiggle around in a completely different bit of desert. But the stand-ins don’t actually exchange the suitcase for anything! They start doing some Adam West Batman ‘fighting’ without even getting the cash first! Then they all bugger off again and it turns out the suitcase is worthless in the first place. Why did they even turn up? Utterly pointless.
Heidi still manages to look wonderful, thank god.
(h/t Maura)
The white van is parked outside and Tinchy is desperately trying to make it look like he only uses his telly for playing video games and watching old VHS tapes. If you cunningly asked Tinchy Stryder who was kicked out of Strictly Come Dancing last week he would answer “I surely don’t know!” in a wavering voice, yearning to spill the beans about how Martina Hingis must have been docked points for wearing too many sequins. They’ll get you eventually, Tinchy. Suck it up and get a license. Meanwhile, his missus is off for a nocturnal swim in the Thames. I hope she’s remembered her glow-in-the-dark armbands.
Best of 2002: Cardboard loveliness from some Italian dudes with a sharp stanley knife. Everything’s going wrong for our heroine - she’s skint, her car won’t start, and as for the man of her dreams: “We have split UP!” But she keeps on smiling and we know everything’s going to be sweet. Like chocolate.
STAKE through my heart more like - we have here some hilarious undead bandwagon-jumping from everyone’s 2nd favourite pensionable manband. Don’t they know it’s all about werewolves at the moment? Anyone would think they’d only read the FIRST Twilight book. Still, extra points for the glowing red contact lenses.
Yay! It’s been literally months since we’ve had a Neverending Story tribute, and it finally appears that someone has been listening to my constructive criticism! Ladyhawke sees that her sailor chap has been kidnapped by some pirates in her crystal ball, manages not to lose her horse in the swamp of despair, then rescues the poor bloke with a magic carpet ALL WHILE KEEPING A STRAIGHT FACE. *applause*
Not only that, at 1.04 she does the ‘running on the spot whilst a blue screen forest moves slowly past her’ thing. Oh Leona, if only you had had adequate footwear I’m sure you would have been sprinting along to save the universe from The Nothing too.
Melancholic rapper Example is recovering from a holiday romance with Penny Crayon (who is WAY out of his league, might I add). Back in London things seem rather grimmer so he imagines himself back in Aiya Napa binge drinking the night away. But you’ve got to face up to the real world some day, Example! If one is on holiday all the time then one stops feeling the benefit. Speaking of which, it was getting pretty chilly out today - winter coat time is upon us I think.
