The Vids Are Alright

Kylie Minogue - Can’t Get You Out Of My Head.

Best of 2001:This has to be in the running for most iconic video of the 00s - think ‘Kylie’ and the image of the white hooded dress and blinkered robotic hand gestures is usually the first thing that springs to mind for most pop fans (gold hot-pants admittedly coming a very close second). CYOOMH is one of my favourite videos ever - even if you’ve seen this video a thousand times, I urge you to take a closer look.

Director Dawn Shadforth turns well-worn video tropes into something magical. For example, take the opening sequence where Kylie is driving a car (done countless times before by everyone and their dog): the undulating curved bridges provide a hypnotic backdrop for Kylie’s smooth and relaxed pose during the woozy ‘na na na’s, which suddenly gives way to neatly chopped-up photo frames as soon as her clipped verse vocal kicks in. Then back again to the dreamy organic ‘na na na’, where her backing dancers slowly and gracefully slide through each others arms like blooming flowers.

The constant switching between clinical robot and organic human is also reflected wonderfully in the progression of Kylie’s hair and outfits: austere black dress/straight hair in the car followed by comfy tracksuit/scrunched up ponytail with her dancers outside; sleek white goddess dress inside the spaceship to silver party frock and full-on natural curls on the roof.

Kylie isn’t just a coat-hanger here though: the majority of her verses are sung in closely focused headshots, leaving her (stunning) body to do the talking during the choreography sequences. Shadforth punctuates simple but memorable moves with different camera angles to keep the momentum going, finishing off with a wonderful long teasing swoop up from Kylie’s toes back up to her head in time for the middle eight (2.17). It’s a perilous task trying to make a video sensual rather than sexual but Shadforth does a bloody good job of it - opting to reveal the often-ignored middle section of the chest, never lingering too long in one place - leaving us none the wiser as to what Kylie’s ‘dark secret in me’ could be.

The last sequence on the rooftops where Kylie fills the sky with one joyful flick of her hair is my favourite part of the whole video. It conjures up memories of so many wonderful nights out letting my own hair down - the music is so euphoric that she never wants the night to end, dancing in slow motion as the sun sets to make the moment last as long as possible. Stay forever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever…

Beyonce - Sweet Dream (Beautiful Nightmare).

A rather unsatisfying amalgam of ‘Single Ladies’ and ‘Deja Vu’ - after the baffling levitation scene is done and dusted, we have the same old desert-tribe Rite Of Spring raindance, then some dancing that… isn’t quite as good as we know Beyonce is capable of.

It’s only near the end, where B upgrades the robot hand theme to full-on armour plating (sort of - imagine if Apollo was entering the Terminator Gymnastics World Championships) that this video feels a worthwhile endeavour. It’s a shame - Beyonce clearly has more to offer than a batshit wardrobe. This is a rare occasion when I think I’d rather have tour footage.

Ciara ft Missy Elliott - Work.

A sneak peak at the London 2012 Olympic site in Stratford reveals fine progress being made by Benassi Construction Inc. Project Manager Ci-Ci, Foreman Melissa Elliott (insert ‘all in my grill’ joke here) and their highly choreographed workforce seem to have a slapdash attitude to health and safety: I’m certain no-one is wearing steel-toe-capped boots here but the range of protective eyewear is pretty comprehensive.

(h/t @lexpretend)

Wyclef Jean ft The Rock - It Doesn’t Matter.

You’re about to smell what the Rock is cooking! We’re back in 2000 again, and Wyclef has run into a spot of bother after chatting up a girl who (unbeknownst to our hero) has a very musclebound husband. “Are you crazy? You is married???” Poor old Wyclef gets too big for his boots and has to be bailed out by his BFF the Rock, who gives him a proper dressing down with one of the best Srs Faces ever. (Some great dancing in there too.)

Cascada - Evacuate The Dancefloor.

Quite a change of tack for Cascada! Less of the pounding trance-diva and more of the electro-n-b pop. I mean, Britney could have easily rejected this for Circus. There’s a rap middle 8 by some German dude called Calprit! I really like this.

Alas the video is rather unremarkable save for Cascada’s revolving chair at the end. I guess they have a maximum amount of awesome to be shared out over song and vid, and the visual world happened to lose out this time.

N*Sync - Pop.

You know those days when you just can’t decide what to wear? Justin and the boys seem to be having a bad case of sartorial indecision halfway through their video (after Justin’s head splits in two but before the BMX dude turns up). Luckily their unseen stylist has a bunch of new looks for them to try inbetween dance moves, though Lance seems to get stuck in a tardis-like room entirely concealed within Justin’s necklace at one point - good preparation for his later career as space adventurer I suppose.

Utah Saints - Something Good ‘08

The Big Dumb Electro Bosh sub-genre of pop has been reliant on tits-and-arse fancy dress videos for some time now, so full marks to Utah Saints (along with Wiley and most surprisingly, Eric Prydz) for trying something a little different in 2008. But while Eric Prydz sucked out all the momentum of his brilliant hands-in-the-air feelgood track ‘Pjanoo’ with a baffling Borrowers-meets-Pocahontas effort, the ‘Saints have outdone themselves.

There’s nothing technically fancy here - this video could just as easily have been made in 1989 - on the surface it’s just some dudes dancing with a daft gag at the end. But the looks on the dancers’ faces (esp the girl at 2.13) wins me over every time: the absolute joy of dancing together in unison to a brilliant track at the best club night you’ve ever been to. Infectious, life affirming and slightly sped up but not enough that you notice at first. When the blonde girl nods at 2.06 to cue the rest of them in on the off-beat I just want to give them all a round of applause and a big hug, like I am the sixth former responsible for a group of hitherto untameable Year 7 kids who have finally got the hang of the dance moves to Steps’ ‘Tragedy’ in the dress rehearsal, just in time for the House Music competition that I’m not even supposed to be helping with. It’s a pleasure to watch.